Son of Yhency

Monday, January 23, 2006

Fantasy sports have ruined me

I'm embarrassed. In myself. Fantasy sports have ruined me. And if you play them, they're ruining you too.

Last night, at about midnight, I went online to check out some basketball box scores. Not basketball scores, mind you, but box scores. I click on the Lakers-Raptors box score and look at four things, in this very particular order:

1. Mike James' stats -- The guy was a late pick for me and has been playing great basketball the last few weeks. His line: 26 points, 6 threes made, 10 assists, 2 steals. Sweet.

2. Chris Bosh's stats -- Everyone knew he'd be a beast, and he hasn't disappointed. Last night wasn't great, but I'll take 18 points, 8 rebounds and a block.

3. Morris Peterson's stats -- Just traded for him in a league and he blew last night: 7 points, 1 three made, zero steals. Ouch.

4. The score -- At the time, the Lakers were up by about 15 in the fourth. Gravy.

And that's all I look at. That's it! I turn off my computer and start to get ready to go to sleep.

If you consider yourself any sort of a sports fan, you've undoubtedly heard by now that Kobe Bryant went absolutely bonkers last night and scored 81 points, which is the second most points scored in an NBA game. Ever. More than Jordan, more than Elgin Baylor, more than Kareem. More than everyone but Wilt's 100. History. Mark Stein just wrote this morning that it was the single greatest performance of all time.

And here I am, left to think that if I hadn't gone to before I turned off the lights, I would have gone to sleep in a world where some of my fantasy players had done well and the Lakers won. But nothing more. And I'm ashamed because of that.

Fantasy sports, you suck.

Just -- just go to hell!

(I need you so bad, please never leave me.)