Son of Yhency

Monday, October 31, 2005

Crap.

Crap.

Are you ready for some basketball?

Ahhhh, the dog days of October. Baseball has finished, football is grinding away, hockey is somewhere there and basketball is back! What a joyous time it is for the House of Yhency. My college basketball preview will come in a few weeks, but with the NBA season starting tomorrow, I'm going to focus on my Lakers.

(Note: Much like ESPN's Sports Guy, who often takes 10,000 words to discuss the Boston sports team of his choice, I will sometimes spend far too much time discussing the L.A. sports scene. If that doesn't fancy your interests, deal with it. I promise to muse on other things as well.)

The Lakers are a mystery to me right now. You have a superstar player, a superstar coach and then eleven insignificant role players, none of whom could make the Spurs' practice squad. Which could be why most experts are picking them to do no better than squeak into the playoffs.

Public enemy number one for this atrocious team? Mitch Kupchak. Is this really the best team he could field? I don't mean to disparage -- wait, yes I do -- but he may actually be the second worst GM in basketball. (Isiah, of course, will hold down that top spot for as long as he's around.) I'm glad I can look forward to a second round draft pick in 2047 from that Jumaine Jones trade. Just please don't take a guy with a friggin' heart defect this time. Because there's nothing more exciting than burning cap space on a guy with no NBA experience and who has a massive bleeping heart. (Which is a bad thing.) In hindsight, has Kupchak ever made a smart, savvy move? Besides getting lucky with Kobe (no one knew he'd be this good when they traded Vlade for him) and paying Shaq a crapload of money -- two moves a monkey could have made -- he's done nothing with that team.

Listen, nobody appreciated the Lakers' threepeat more than me. With Game 7 of the 2000 Western Conference Finals, the Derek Fisher shot in the 2004 playoffs, every Big Game Bob moment, Rick Fox' hair, I loved those teams. But Shaq elevated every one of those players and now that he's gone, he's exposed Kupchak for the fraud he is. Put Mitch in a small market and that team will suck. Not unlike the Lakers right now!

And much like my thoughts on the Dodgers on Saturday, so much of this starts with ownership. No, the Parking Lot Attendant and Doctor Jerry Buss don't even belong in the same stratosphere; I think The Doctor has earned the respect of Los Angelenos that it looks like Frank McCourt will never scratch the surface of. But while watching a preseason match between the Lakers and Queens on Friday, I saw an interview with Buss that made me uneasy. When asked about Kwame Brown, Buss enthusiastically praised his skills and said he was excited to have him on the team. He specifically cited watching Brown lead a fast break in practice, saying, "It's rare for a seven-footer to be able to do that."

Oh no. Sound the alarms.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that Kwame's thing? That his raw skills are so great that they're only bested by those of Darko Milicic? Jerry, we know he's got the skills. But as we've seen from this guy for four years in D.C., he (a) can't translate the raw skills into game skills, (b) he acts like a little child (which, considering his age, isn't too surprising) and (c) he's a cancer to the team. There's a reason why the Wizards gleefully sent him home last year -- during the playoffs, mind you -- after he simply missed a practice.

I have no problem with giving Kwame a chance. The kid is still young, and who knows, maybe he'll finally grow up under Jackson's tutelage. But how about we temper expectations until he proves us wrong? And with Buss' interview from Friday, I'm scared. I'm scared that he's lost sight of the larger picture, which is to construct a cohesive squad capable of a championship run, not a random assortment of guys who can't play together. Phil's good, but when you have a potential starting five of Kobe, Kwame, Lamar Odom, Chris Mihm and Devean George, and then one of the first guys off the bench is named Sasha... yikes.

That said, I'm looking forward to the season. Not that it'll be a smooth ride. They aren't your grandfather's Lakers, but with a postseason berth, I'm happy. It's the friggin' Lakers, and with Phil and Kobe at the helm, anything's possible in the playoffs.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

The circus continueth...

Jim Tracy was unfairly dismissed as the Dodgers' manager a few weeks ago. Now Paul DePodesta is out as their general manager. Yet the Parking Lot Attendant (aka, Frank McCourt) remains. That could be because he owns the team, but doesn't responsibility begin with him? Especially when you say you're going to spend a certain amount of money on team salary and then you don't? Listen, it's one thing for the Devil Rays to spend $30 million on team salary; everyone knows that's how much they're spending and so assumptions for their performance are set accordingly. But if McCourt says he's going to put at least $100 million towards his payroll but spends considerably less, how is it fair to judge manager or GM when they fail to meet expectations?

Folks, for the Dodgers to spend $83 million on total payroll is ridiculous. Simple economics dictate that a team in the country's second largest media market can afford to spend much more than that. And when McCourt took this team over, he said he was committed to winning and would pay what it would take to do so. But a quick look at the team's payroll from 2003 (the year before McCourt took over) to this year proves he's a cheap bastard who's stashing profits in his pockets and scapegoating anyone underneath him:
2003 - $105,872,620 (fourth highest payroll)
2004 - $92,902,001 (sixth highest)
2005 - $83,039,000 (eleventh highest)

McCourt needs to hold a press conference and admit he's made some mistakes but that he's going to rectify them. Then he needs to spend at least $100 million on payroll, remove his wife and son from their positions within the organization, buy Mike Scioscia away from the Angels, send Darren Dreifort to the firing squad and never read the L.A. Times again.

Speaking of the Times, I can't wait to see what T.J. Simers will have to say about the latest events in this soap opera. Whether he writes next tomorrow or Monday, here's a link to his columns page. I guarantee he will be quite giddy.

Friday, October 28, 2005

URDU?!?!?

An actual quote just pulled off of The Drudge Report:
NYC MAYOR BLOOMBERG'S CAMPAIGN SPENDING SEEN AS OVERKILL // Television commercials promoting his candidacy are running not only in English, but are also coming out in Russian, Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Hindi and Urdu... Developing...

Urdu??? Is that a real language? Off the top of your head, I defy anyone to tell me in what part of the world that language is spoken. Please. Enlighten me.

An old classic

If you've never seen Bubb Rubb and Lil' Sis in action, well, you haven't lived. And if you have seen them, I'm sure it's been a while. This video is, without a doubt, one of the funnier things I've ever seen.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Two down, one to go

The baseball gods have had enough. No more Bambino, no more Black Sox and no more goat. Or so one would think.

The White Sox won the World Series last night, and a hearty congratulations to them. They clearly deserved and earned it. 11-1 in the postseason is somewhat ridiculous. I don't think we've seen such a dominant playoff run since the 2001 Lakers.

Of course that won't stop me from despising many of those guys. A.J. Pierzynski, please stop pumping your fist like an idiot after every strikeout. Aaron Rowand and Dustin Hermanson, grow real friggin' goatees. The rest of you -- ummmm, just stop being so annoyingly good.

But since this is a blog and I don't feel it would be truly legitimate until I start coming up with outrageous conspiracy theories, there was a piece of me that kept on thinking that those umpires were being paid off. The check swing strike call on Damon in Game 3 of the ALDS, the Pierzynski/Josh Paul thing in Game 2 of the ALCS, the Dye "hit by pitch" in Game 2 of the World Series and a few others that just didn't sit right with me. It was all going the Sox' way a little too much. Then again, the Astros couldn't hit worth shit and regardless of the calls, the Sox kept on capitalizing in big moments. So they earned it. But there was some sketchiness.

And for those of you who stuck around after the game to watch Steve Lyons' appearance at that White Sox bar in Chicago, congratulations. One of the funniest TV moments I think I've ever witnessed.

But back to my main point here. The Red Sox win their first World Series last year after an 86-year hiatus. The White Sox win this year after an 88-year nap. Which leaves us with... the Cubs? It has to be, right? If the baseball gods are going to go this far, why not let the Bruins quench their own little 95-year drought next year? I'm pulling for it, and I hope everyone else is too.

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What's up party people and welcome to my blog!! I'm not sure exactly what Son of Yhency will become, but I figure I should just start it and let things happen. Hopefully I'll keep up with my entries, and keep most of them short. A lot of them will probably be about sports. If you don't like sports, don't read this. Others will be about random stuff. If you don't like random stuff, you probably shouldn't read this either. (But if you do like www.zombo.com, you may love this.) But however it turns out, hopefully it will be fun. Stay tuned...